The Deceit of Angels

Apparently it's become something of a meme in S. Korea, and I asked Alex to get a video of me drunkenly doing the dance to complement this piece but... Well if I'm drunk, explaining anything to him is borderline impossible. Yet, nevertheless, gangnam style suggests to me 'I'm gonna look like a twat yet do it anyway because it could be fun,' which sums up a lot of this trip. And the whole 'heeeeeey sexy lady' part, well that fits too (hot damn). Apparently there's also a major subtext westerners missed out on about the materialism of the modern world. Well, that has absolutely nothing to do with this trip. In fact, if anything, Alex was at his least materialistic which is certainly something I should commend, even if it resulted in more photo's of me in the bathroom and hours of drunken woman chasing, but moving on: Alex owns a copy of 'Twilight' on blu-ray. I don't know why, but he does. And so it begins, the drive to the airport...

First night here and I feel I need to sing the praises of the riad (guest house) we're staying; a lift from the airport, a tour of the market and dinner that is already making the trip worthwhile. So good even Emily ate it with gusto, and she had difficulty finding food in the airport! The staff are attentive, helpful above and beyond what you would expect and they seem to genuinely care about their residents; the only way they could have done more would have been to guide us through each day as a personal guide, which obviously would be odd and impractical. Probably the best place I've stayed at amongst all my travels thus far and one I would have no qualms recommending to others, even if that front door is so small I feel like gandalf entering a hobbit hole. It's ranked 6th on tripadvisor for damn good reason. The only thing slightly disconcerting about the place is the security; no safe for valuables and no key locks to the doors (excluding the front door), just a bo...

“Turkish people are ugly, cant dress well, cant sing, cant speak properly, are conservative, religious and make lousy coffee. Welcome to Istanbul!” - Hazal Another overdue piece, I actually visited Istanbul Nov 17th - 27th but due to my computer dying for a couple of months, this got put on hold. Nonetheless, details of my exploits in Istanbul to visit the student ex-Lifer regular who reappeared after a year of almost complete absence with 'So when exactly are you coming to visit me?' have finally arrived. I assumed my flight couldn't be as entertaining as the last time I flew alone. And I was right! Most of my experiences involved saying Turkish words so that nobody could understand them (kof-tay? Kerf-ter? Eh) and sitting next to an elderly Turkish man who sounded angry at being offered a paper in Turkish, demanding the English paper. He was grumpy at me too, for every tiny inconvenience. Until he twigged I was English. Then I became his best friend, constantly in...

So I was halfway through writing this when I lost all my work. This means more of it is coming from memory than ever before, though I'm sure most of it is written down still as notes meaning most of it will still be around. It was only about a month ago that myself and my partner in crime took to the skies once again in our exploration of Eastern Europe. The quaint medieval town of Tallinn, Estonia, and the glorious capital of our tree loving neighbours in Helsinki, Finland. There are photo's to complement the trip, but for the most part I've strived to avoid repeating myself here. The flight outwards and already minor chaos ensued; Alex is becoming a master of packing things badly. The baggage allowance was 20kg, and so how much does Alex weigh in at? 19.9kg, to my measly 11.7kgs. I still don't know why he needed 30+ shirts for a 7 day trip, but there you have it. He was also intending to be the photographer for the journey, but impressively for a man with so much l...

Took me bloody long enough to finish writing it, but here it is in all its glory. The sequel to both an "Englishman and a Frenchman walk into a bar" and "Three Kinds of Moisturiser But All Kinds of Mischief," I give you "Spunk of a Sea Slug and Wait...Do Those Look Like Caves To You?" The flight over there – a 17 hour ordeal in all – was the first time I flew alone, and also the first time I had an interconnecting flight. Despite nervousness at both these aspects, it went about as well as could be expected. The first leg saw me with the only seat on the plane with a vacant spot adjacent. Hello nap city, even if I did have a burly man with a cockney accent screaming loudly at the screen as he watched a bad romantic drama on the aisle opposite. The second leg, however, was slightly more problematic. One man lit up a smoke in the middle of the plane and then argued with the staff until they told him to put it out or be arrested when they landed, but that...